Create your own luck

The first time I joined a meetup was in 2014. I remember spending an entire afternoon agonising over whether I should join the event. — I was young, unexperienced, didn’t know anyone and had an odd yet natural preoccupation with how a group of strangers would perceive me. — I showed up dressed in the most formal and uncomfortable attire I could ...


Earnest. Cards for more meaningful conversations.

We may not get picked today, tomorrow or the day after. In fact, the phone might never ring. But we don't have to wait around. We can decide that we will pick ourselves. Regardless of whether someone out there is listening. — We can choose to do the work, to write a new essay, paint a new canvas, build a new product.

Because I don’t want ...


Small cities are the future

There's something irresistibly charming about smaller cities. They bring us closer together. They provide a sense of community. Intimacy. They bring forward our caretaker traits.

As remote work becomes the norm, smaller cities will slowly supersede large metropolises. Unlike big cities, small places don't have to compromise. They can appe ...


Heartbreak

Heartbreak is inevitable. Anyone capable of love goes through one at some point in their life. We cannot avoid wounds and bruises but we might be able to reframe them.

The story we tell ourselves as we're sulking and going through the motions matters. We can see our distress as an opportunity for a deeper level of self-knowledge. Use the ...


Giants

The giants we learn about in school. The ones whose shoulders we stand on, were once small. Smaller, less experienced than us. They worried, many times, about crashing. Or about making fools out of themselves. They worried about dying alone.

It can be comforting to know we are all lost. Swirling around this blue planet, somehow, never fee ...


Unrequited love

At times, we might feel a certain inability to move on from someone for whom we have deep feelings for. Someone who won't like us back despite our valiant efforts and good charms.

We tell ourselves stories about how they're everything we are looking for. We imagine what it would be like if they saw us in a different light. What would it b ...


Tiny little monsters

Every now and then, we find tiny little monsters lurking around the corner. Mental setbacks, fear, a lingering feeling of anxiety we can't seem to fully comprehend.

These tiny little monsters always seem to find their way back to us. And our natural instinct can often get us to hide or run away. But that won't make the monsters go away....


Address problems early on, before they become too big

Even though it might be tempting at times to run away from our problems, doing so won't make them go away.

The nature of most problems is akin to the cartoonist cliche of the snowball rolling over the hill. When left unattended, problems grow. And they grow to create more problems. A small flame left unchecked often leads to multiple fire ...


Amateurs vs Professionals

The main difference between being an amateur or a professional has nothing to do with talent. Professionals show up every day. Amateurs come up with excuses or don't make showing up a priority.

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This train cannot be stopped

At some point in life, we may find ourselves fighting for a place few people ever seem to get to. A job at a remarkable place. A deal with a record label. Or a signing with a publishing house.

The prospects of getting picked may seem hardly graspable. At times, we may ponder if we're good enough. Or if the phone will ever ring. After all, ...


Roads worth waiting for

Sometimes we're headed towards a dead end. And we keep on driving.

Some part of us knows we'll be in trouble soon and yet we hit the accelerator. And we come up with a thousand stories: There might be more to it than what meets the eye. We might get what we need it if we just keep on going. We might be able to break the wall if we're clev ...


We'll survive

To which degree are we letting our fears and insecurities control how we perceive reality and the world around us?

Are we letting particular negative experiences dictate how we experience group interactions? Or public speaking opportunities?

Are we being held back by the fact that someone made us feel bad and inadequate for standin ...


Showing up

Building up a new skill or working towards a new goal can be frustrating. Especially when we're just getting started. Our output is often below the level we're acquainted with. And feeling our work is below average can be frightening.

A proven way to get better is to show up consistently. To put in the work on sunny days and rainy days. T ...


Letting friendships go

Sometimes we hold on to friendships that are no longer working. We hold on to that friend who was there for our sweet sixteen. We hold on to the group we formed in college, when we were still figuring out what we wanted. We hold on to people who have been in our lives for as long as we can remember. Even when the only things connecting us are ou ...


Requirements

The idea that someone should have to meet requirements like a certain age or height. Or belong to a certain circle to become a suitable partner might not be serving us.

We might be hurting our chances at finding deep connection because we haven't given enough thought to what might, in fact, make us happy.

The connection and intimac ...


Take a chance

Sometimes we are afraid of giving ourselves to others. Lessons learned from the past. Perhaps, from a time when a friend or loved one behaved in a way that betrayed our values or expectations. Perhaps, when we were kids. People often fail to meet those expectations. They are self-absorbed, unaware. We're guilty too. I imagine it to be part of ou ...


Opportunities vs distractions

Sometimes we take on new projects and say 'yes' to opportunities to later realise we should have said 'no'. This happens frequently when we're young. We don't often have a clear sense of purpose or direction. And there is always something new.

The thing about what we call opportunities is that they are only opportunities in light of what ...


Don't use acronyms

The goal of communication is to convey information. To create an understanding. Yet, we often choose to use words that create obstacles for those we’re trying to reach.

As we gain familiarity within the domain in which we operate, we start adopting acronyms, initialisms and abbreviations used by people in our circle. But using them, ends ...


Make time

As we go through life, we find ourselves in different places. Different chapters. This often implies loosening our connection with friends we used to spend a lot of time with. Weeks, months and years go by. Work gets in the way. We get busy and without meaning to, relationships slowly fade away.

We might tell ourselves a different story. ...


Owning your platform

Whether Donald Trump’s Facebook ban and subsequent bans by Twitter, Reddit, Twitch, Shopify, and Snapchat were the right decision, they certainly opened a precedent that puts a free and open internet at risk. Following the crisis at the Capitol, Parler, an app used by far-right extremists was suspended by both Google and Apple’s app stores and A ...


Follow through

Integrity is doing what we say we will do. Even when it hurts us. Especially when it hurts us. This requires a sharp and tuned degree of consistency and self-awareness that takes time to grow.

a. Do not make commitments you know you can’t uphold. When we fail to deliver on a promise, we cause other people to have a worse ...


Be kind

It’s easy to forget that every single person you interact with, is going through something you are not aware of. Learn to be compassionate and always remember to be kind. To you and to others.

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Becoming noteworthy

Even though we are all different on paper, in reality, most of us act in conformity. — We wear the same shoes, build websites that look the same and have opinions that are not worth to bat an eyelash for.

As Humans, we are great at identifying patterns. We are also often drawn to what is the most familiar without realising.

The pro ...


On feeling like giving up

Next time you feel like giving up, realise that, this might be a good indication that you are out of your comfort zone. Do not let that stop you from moving.

Fight or flight mechanisms are a necessary part of growth. Acknowledging that you are overwhelmed. Acknowledging that you want to run or hide, is already half the battle.

Take ...


On pessimism

Positivity is the tragedy of the 21st century. Despite what the popular opinion may be, I have found that, adopting it as frame of mind, can often promote short-sightedness and wishful-thinking. When life doesn’t go as planned, we suffer unproportionally. — This is especially true when the stakes are high. A pessimistic approach towards global w ...